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people Any other relatives of my girlfriend or their significant other's and their children need a roof?
by SkippyZone
gfd messages
(scottryman@gmail.com) on Jul 14, 2004 01:39:07 AM

If you were logged in, you could vote for this story!

How about you homeless or indebted drifters? Wanna sucker us into letting you live with us, thinking you're our friend and are going to be of SOME help around the house?
 

TOO BAD, FUCK YOU.



Living away from home, two thousand miles away from mom and dad, and cut off from any financial support, you have to make choices to save money. Roommates are the big one though. Tell them for $400 per month they can do as they please in my house, as long as they promise to try not to do any of the following:

- Leave the house a mess.
- Be loud after 1am.
- Screw us out of large amounts of money.
- Bitch to the neighbors about noise, then turn up the 360 Watt stereo in the living room to piss them off.
- Deceive friends or family members, or obscure their opinions about us with rumor and lie alike.
- Promise to pay bills and not pay them on time, putting the respective company in a position to shove things up our asses, sue us or go to creditors about the money.
- Bring small children (4 yrs old) into our house knowing it is NOT child safe.
- Have your boyfriend call at 3am after I work evening shifts.
- Have the same boyfriend threaten to beat the shit out of the neighbors.
- Use MY computer for your annoying MSN and YIM buddies to waste my fucking bandwidth.
- Fuck in the living room, while your best friend is trying to sleep on the couch.
- Fuck in the shower while I'm doing landry two feet away.
- Destroy furniture with your fat ass.
- Own a rodent or caged creature of sorts.
- Make us dog sit your mutt that shits on the floor all the time.
- Bring your not so trustworthy boyfriends over to stay on our couch, in the living room full of valuable possessions and expect us not to kick his ass out on the curb at 2:30am.
- Eat anything marked "Merry Christmas $person" when you are not $person.
- Screw us out of $300 or any other amount of money, and expect us to "forgive and forget".
- Work in the same place I do and do dick all during your shift, and bitch when people tell you you're lazy and a fucking asshole.
- Steal minor items from the house when you get kicked out and expect us not to notice.
- Expect me to fix your computer problems at 4am.
- Respect the sign that says "Please do not bitch about network related problems. D-Link sucks ass, but its cheap."
- Blame me for lack of WAN (Internet) access at any time.

If anyone can abide by those rules, and is a non-smoker, they may live with me and my girlfriend. Until then, will the following please get the fuck out of my house and stay out:

- The lazy fucking co-worker.
- My girlfriend's sister.
- Her boyfriend and his 4 year old.
- The two fat bitches that fucked us out of $300.

[ Comment on this story ]


    roommates suck
    by Skewfield(bean makes me fart)
    gfd messagesAIM
    on Jul 14, 2004 01:44:55 AM
    (#16025)
    if it is so bad, cough up the dough for YOUR OWN PLACE. jesus, when people finally decide to live together, it is not usually WITH OTHER PEOPLE TOO.
    [Reply to this comment]
    Fuggem all!
    by Spanker(munsterinthedark@hotmail.com)
    gfd messagesAIM
    on Jul 14, 2004 04:15:18 AM
    (#16027)
    Not much to say besides the story was good and GFD worthy.
    I'm very glad to see a new format of GFD, read well and did it's job and then some. One critique is that you didn't tie them together at the end, and it left a little too much work for me at 5AM.
    By the way, who wants to visit me at penn and kick the shit out of some chauvinistic ass holes?
    Not worth a GFD, I've already answered it with the fact that one can never assume there is a place with fewer/no ass holes, even when it's completely logical.
    But this doesn't change the fact that I want to gouge a few eyeballs out.
    [Reply to this comment]
      I can't say that
      by SkippyZone(scottryman@gmail.com)
      gfd messages
      on Jul 19, 2004 04:28:45 AM
      (#16090)
      all the roommates we had were bad. We had one:

      ::The Golden Roommate::
      - Respected living space.
      - Smoked outside.
      - Was quiet.
      - Was social and hung out with us a lot.
      - Paid rent and bought his own furniture.
      - Stuck it out on his futon (which he left with us half paid for, which was okay, because in name it was ours anyways) in the living room, without complaint.
      - Paid rent on time.

      I'm sorry, but I really like using bulleted lists.
      [Reply to this comment]  [Parent]
    The choice is
    by Gribble
    gfd messages
    on Jul 14, 2004 12:13:04 PM
    (#16033)
    live in a nice place with people you don't get along with, or live in a much less nice place that you can afford.

    Honestly, if you can find a less nice place where the landlord actually keeps the basics repaired (plumbing, windows, etc) it's way worth it to live without all the stress of roomates.

    But you haven't figured that out yet. Good luck with crazy naked guy!
    [Reply to this comment]
    roommates are fun
    by rababa(chickenchoker@farm.ch)
    gfd messages
    on Jul 14, 2004 02:32:37 PM
    (#16034)
    I make fun of mine everyday - not that she deserves it a lot just a little bit. she runs out of arguments too fast and tries to beat me up (not possible at all considering she is half my size). I continue with only verbal abuse :)

    its her fault: she did make me paint the livingroom Orange!! Ever since I've been freggin mean to her. I wonder why she still hasn't kicked me out - maybe she likes me...
    I tried living by myself once and it was really boring for one year - noone to clean and cook.
    remember if its your house you can make those rules above work (lower the price a bit if needed)
    good luck

    PS: the orange paint is now peeling
    [Reply to this comment]
      Huh?
      by RainbowTrout(YouPeople@all-yall.com)
      gfd messages
      on Jul 19, 2004 01:53:31 AM
      (#16089)
      Orange?

      Like, tangerine? Or perhaps it was something muted.

      Because I can't imagine any circumstances that could ever lead up to my living room turning orange. That shit would give me a seizure.
      [Reply to this comment]  [Parent]
    Sounds great!
    by Cheops(It's a celebration!)
    gfd messagesAIM
    on Jul 22, 2004 06:08:59 PM
    (#16150)
    But don't tell us. Grow some balls and tell them.
    [Reply to this comment]
    Mafia City H5
    by asunaxing(yifanxiexing@gmail.com)
    gfd messages
    on Sep 13, 2018 10:08:09 PM
    (#33581)
    free gangster games, I would have to say this is been one of the greatest games I've played in a while. I have been playing since he 18 close to two years now.
    [Reply to this comment]

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