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customer service how much is that?
by kraken
gfd messages
on Oct 7, 2003 09:59:43 PM

If you were logged in, you could vote for this story!

it wasn't as if I had asked for 3.6 moles of hydrogen atoms.
earlier tonight I ventured out from my apartment to buy some groceries. luckily the store wasn't overly busy, so I wandered through at a leisurely pace.

bread, check.
dr pepper, check.
chocolate milk, check.
soup, check.
noodles, check.
ooo popsicles, check check!

after picking up most of the items, I stopped by the deli counter to get some ham and cheese for sandwiches. I patiently waited my turn, and when the lady asked if she could help me, I told her,
"I'd like three quarters of a pound of the peppered ham, please." she picked up the ham and started walking toward the slicer, then stopped and turned around. "how much is that?", she asked me. "three quarters of a pound," I said, thinking she hadn't heard me properly the first time. she countered with, "no, how much is that in decimal points?" I paused for a moment, unsure if this was a test or some sort of joke. "um. zero point seven-five," I replied. with that, she said "ok, thanks," and went to slice the meat.

as the spinning wheel cut a swath of death through the ham, I contemplated the exchange that had just taken place. was she really asking me how much three quarters of a pound was? did she truly not know? how could someone who cuts and weighs food products for a living not know that three quarters of a pound translated to zero point seven-five on the digital scale? my reverie was interrupted by a package of ham being thrust in my direction.

she asked me, "will there be anything else?" I told her that I would also like a half a pound of colby cheese. she asked, "the orange or the orange and white?", pointing in turn to the blocks of cheese labeled "COLBY", and "COLBY JACK". I said, "the colby, not the colby jack." an annoyed look came across her face and she pointed more vigorously, asking the same question. I sighed and said, "the orange." she said, "point five, right?" I said yes.

she went and cut slices from the block of cheese, returning with a bag bulging with dairy product. it was clearly more than I had asked for. I looked at the sticker on the bag. the sticker told me that one point one-five pounds of cheese were contained within. I handed the bag back to her and said, "this is way too much, I only asked for a half a pound." she said, "it's not that much more, can't you just take it?" I pointed out that the amount was double what I had asked for, and told her to re-bag half of the contents. she asked me, "then what should I do with the rest, hm?" I said, "I don't care what happens to it, but only half of that bag is going home with me today."

as I finally left the counter with my ham and cheese she snidely said, "thanks a lot."

hey there, genius, how about you take zero point seven-five pounds of my foot and see how you like it up your ass?

[ Comment on this story ]

    Once again
    by cxreg(
    gfd messagesAIM
    on Oct 7, 2003 10:24:18 PM
    This lady cuts meat for a living. In Arkansas. You're lucky she even knew which number was 7 and which was 5.

    When are you moving the hell out of there, anyway?
    [Reply to this comment]
      ahhh, the southern midsection of the united states... why no happy trail?
      by raven(duz ur face hurt its killin me)
      gfd messagesAIM
      on Oct 8, 2003 08:27:56 AM
      i was just enjoying the "get a brain! morans!" photograph of the guy wearing a cardinals shirt...

      GO MO!

      i think we should clear out all 17 smart people in the middle 6 states, relocate them, and then blow up the middle of the country. we need a new lake.
      [Reply to this comment]  [Parent]
        and it would be made complete
        by kraken
        gfd messages
        on Oct 8, 2003 03:40:14 PM
        if the lake was stocked with sharks, fed with the human corpses.

        ...and yes, I know, sharks are going to need salt water.

        that's why you salt the earth between the earth-shattering ka-boom and diverting the mississippi down what used to be main street.
        [Reply to this comment]  [Parent]
    Welcome to reality
    by Miguelito(
    gfd messagesAIM
    on Oct 7, 2003 10:43:18 PM
    Most people do not have the ability to do simple math in their heads.. it's sad but true.

    I ranted on my webpage a long time ago about a problem I had at Fry's once where the computers went down and the woman helping me couldn't even follow directions as basic as which column to write the prices on, even though she had a xeroxed example. When it came time to figure out tax.. I knew I was doomed then, I almost snatched the stuff out of her hands and did it all myself but the computers came back.

    [Reply to this comment]
      Its not just math,
      by Leighto
      gfd messages
      on Oct 9, 2003 12:42:54 PM
      I know several of my highschool classmates who can't tell time on an analog clock. When they said, "I can't read that." I tried to clarify by asking, "Can you read an analog clock?" to which they replied, "What does analog mean?"
      [Reply to this comment]  [Parent]
        by Spanker(
        gfd messagesAIM
        on Oct 9, 2003 02:46:45 PM
        Do you know Dana Salerno? :D
        Same problem over here, as well as people who says "peeps" and "b-r-b" as opposed to any actual word.
        [Reply to this comment]  [Parent]
        by Miguelito(
        gfd messagesAIM
        on Oct 10, 2003 01:00:25 AM
        I've seen that. My sister's kids can't read an analog clock either.

        I actually prefer analog clocks myself.. between my phone, pager, computers, vcrs, etc.. I have enough digital clocks. Analog clocks just seem more homey to me or something, and I actually find a ticking clock (gentle ticking, not loud) comforting too.
        [Reply to this comment]  [Parent]
          tick tick tick
          by Jewsus(I'm
          gfd messagesAIM
          on Oct 11, 2003 10:55:03 PM
          Good ol' quartz
          [Reply to this comment]  [Parent]
            by Skewfield(bean makes me fart)
            gfd messagesAIM
            on Oct 13, 2003 02:43:17 AM
            its' not the quartz that makes that noise! the quartz crystal (which is synthetic SiO2, not a "crystal" that grew in the ground naturally) in a watch vibrates at around 32000-40000 hz, or times a second, powered by an electrical pulse that results in a phenomenon called the "piezoelectric effect." i'll spare you the gory details, but what the piezoelectric effect basically does is cause the crystal to expand and contract at a very precise frequency. this movement is captured and that vibration gets transferred through a whole bunch of other watch parts to result in one impulse per second. that little click you hear? it comes from the balance wheel, which basically does what a pendulum does on a more traditional clock, and drives the motion of the second hand.

            i guess being a physics major is good for impressing people at cocktail parties or something. not that i ever get invited to them.
            [Reply to this comment]  [Parent]
              hoopy thumbs up
              by cxreg(
              gfd messagesAIM
              on Oct 13, 2003 12:44:41 PM
              The principle of generating small amounts of finite improbability by simply hooking the logic circuits of a Bableweeny 57 Sub-Meson Brain to an atomic vector plotter suspended in a strong Brownian Motion producer (say a nice hot cup of tea) were of course well understood - and such generators were often used to break the ice at parties by making all the molecules in the hostess's undergarments leap simultaneously one foot to the left, in accordance with the Theory of Indeterminacy.

              Many respectable physicists said that they weren't going to stand for this, partly because it was a debasement of science, but mostly because they didn't get invited to those sorts of parties

              - Douglas Adams

              See what happens at the parties you aren't at? :)
              [Reply to this comment]  [Parent]
    Could be worse
    by badhairwife(
    gfd messages
    on Oct 13, 2003 02:22:13 PM
    I worked in a deli for a while, and while I'm not the smartest in the bunch, I do know what 3/4 of a pound is.

    At least you didn't go into Burger King, where the cash registers have PICTURES of the FOOD on them because the damn employees can't READ in ENGLISH (or just can't read, period)
    [Reply to this comment]
    Holy fucking shit duncedunce
    by Astirio(
    gfd messages
    on Jan 17, 2008 03:12:49 PM
    You have got to be fucking kidding me right, wow how the fuck do you get a job you don't even know how to fucking do. Jesus
    Christ man you should have told her to shove the rest of that cheese up her anal cavity.
    [Reply to this comment]
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