|
If you were logged in, you could vote for this story!
|
| You heard me Chisa. This is what it comes down to. |
| |
It's just not me, it's everyone. Everyone's f*cking lives. All they really do: eat, sh*t, go to work, go to school, fap their little penises, f*ck their little vaginas, drink their little alcohol, do their little drugs, watch their little TV, go on their little f*cking computers and repeat. Repeat every ****ing day over and over, over and over. I won't lie. I have cabin fever. I've been stuck in this hell-hole for months.
Yet during that time I've had various epiphanies. Like how worthless and useless everyone's lives really are. How meaningless everyone's lives are, even the lives of very rich or successful people. At the end of the day you still have to sleep, you still have to eat, you still have to die. That's not the only epiphany I've had. Every f*cking day for the past 4 months has been an epiphany. Every... ****ing... day. We are born, we live our pathetic, mediocre lives, and we die. We have our little fun with cheap superficial tricks and we all get offended by the same cheap, stupid sh*t. All we have is our little f*cking prides, that's it. We're all pathetic sheep, roaming about our everyday lives, with no real goal or purpose in mind.
Am I rambling? Yes. Will you not read this? Most likely. Will you neg me? Probably. Will you say sh*t like "didn't read lol"? Yes. Which is precisely why you are nothing. Which is why you hate yourself. Which is why others hate you. But I don't care about you, I don't know you, and you don't care about me. What matters is the realization that you may be young and hopeful and vibrant now but in the next blink of an eye, the next sudden instant... you are old, wrinkly, ugly, hopeless, and dying. Hell, we're all dying everyday, even the babies are dying little by little everyday. From the moment the sperm reaches the egg and starts the process of fertilization, the baby is dying. The baby is growing... and dying at the same time. There is no zenith. There is no peak. Maybe if you could pause time but you can't.
So what am I trying to say? I... really don't know anymore. That life has no meaning? That you should stop wasting your goddamn time and start accomplishing sh*t? I don't know. I don't really care. It's all up to you really. You can do whatever you want. You choose what is the best life path for yourself. No one can tell you what to do but yourself. I admit; up till now my life has been very difficult -- much more difficult than the average person -- and it still is extremely hard. And it doesn't look to be getting any better anytime soon... unless... I change. Change... I've tried literally hundreds and hundreds of times to change, to end this madness, to start over once and for all... every single time to no avail... every single time to the same failure. I'm so discouraged and sick of it all I just want to die. The only time I ever find any comfort in my life is when I eat, sh*t, masturbate or sleep. I won't lie. I lead a truly pathetic, useless, worthless life.
But it's not meaningless, that's for sure. I have a very clear purpose in the back of my mind. And everyday I try to start over, I try to bring that dream in my mind into a lit reality. But of course these things don't come in just days or weeks. Years, obviously. Years... of hard work. Years... of consistency. My head hurts, thinking about it all. As I type this I hear snores. I hear the wind. I hear a couple f*cking. I've been hearing these same sounds... for ages. Yes, I am a loser. Yes, I have no friends. Yes, I hate my life. But you're all losers when you think about it. Do you really have any real friends? You are born alone and you die alone. You eat your little hedonistic food and you smoke your little weed and when things go even slightly wrong you b*tch and cry like starving, deprived African kids. Well, I'll tell you what f*cktards: even they wouldn't do that. They know better. They know the worth of things.
Will this post get me banned? Perhaps. Because it's a strong first post on a new account? Maybe. But it's OK. Because in the end we all get banned. We all grow old and skinny and pathetic, not to say that we aren't already like that. Unless you kill yourself at a young age of course. But who has the balls to do that? Look at me, I despise my life so much yet not even I have the balls to do that. You know what? I'm starting to get tired typing. Yes, strong first post. Yes, you didn't read. Oh well... You're all pathetic scum anyway, you wouldn't know the difference. I don't care if you answer. I don't care if you answer with some sarcastic comment. F*ck you all. I don't care. All I know is that when this is all over I'll get the last laugh. I'll be standing at the peak of the mountain while all you will be my slaves bowing down religiously at the bottom. |
|
