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general God Fucking Hates Me
by HatesEvry1
gfd messages
(ChrisIzDaMan12@aol.com) on Sep 7, 2008 08:32:56 AM

If you were logged in, you could vote for this story!

read the goddamn title.
 
i wake up to the sound of screams.

My father is saying "WHAT THE FUCK?! NO MILK?!"
and i reply, "I guess NOT! Why the fuck did you wake me up for this?!"

he didnt like that i used the word fuck.
so he chucked a fork at me.

i then went to use my nice new Sony Vaio. i get on Ventrilo to talk to my friends and *BLOOP* I get the Blue Screen of Death.

that made me very, very angry.

So this weekend i decided to go fishing with a bunch of buddies, and, guess what?

WE DIDNT CATCH SHIT.

i mean seriously.
i always fucking catch something.
at least one of us does.
NOTHING.

im starting to believe that god likes to fuck with people every now and then. just for his own amusement.

but oh well.

[ Comment on this story ]


    ...
    by MissRight(GoFuckYourself@Wanker.net)
    gfd messagesMSN
    on Sep 7, 2008 10:30:13 AM
    (#26874)
    Are you fucking serious? You think these are problems? How about you pull your head out of your ass, and realize that if god did exist, he wouldn't care a bit about your lack of milk, or fishing problems.
    [Reply to this comment]
    2
    by egogg(1337@clownpenis.fart)
    gfd messages
    on Sep 8, 2008 12:26:02 AM
    (#26875)
    Would've been a 1, but you've my sympathy for being awakened by a parent over some BS.

    As for the rest of your "complaints": at least you get to go fishing. I count any day fishing a good one, fish or no. And WinXP is a POS. Get ubuntu. Yes, you may have to program your own drivers, but it'll be good practice.

    Also, this comment is longer than your story. That isn't the way things work here on GFD, noob. I expect a at least page minimum, and separated into paragraphs. No wall-o-text here please.

    That is all.
    [Reply to this comment]
    I voted "yes" on your poll.
    by QuizzMizz(a.quiz@nine.kills.time)
    gfd messages
    on Sep 9, 2008 05:28:53 AM
    (#26879)
    For example, posts like yours serve to remind everyone here of the value of a really good GFD.
    God works in not so mysterious ways.

    Regarding your complaints, as is amply attested to in the "Good Book", the big guy doesn't take kindly to kids dissin' their folks (except Jesus - Jesus got to smart-mouth his mom all the time). Hence, no chat and no catch. And I guess our punishment for institutionally taking his name in vain is stories like yours.

    P.S.: The shift and caps lock on your keyboard are obviously in working order. Please make appropriate use of them.
    [Reply to this comment]
    Ways it could have gone worse:
    by The Gaborg(Sidekick in my own life)
    gfd messages
    on Sep 15, 2008 07:24:37 AM
    (#26889)
    A- You could have waken up to the fact that your dad had been bitten by zombies, and was about to use the fork to gobble up your brains.

    B- That creepy little Ring chick could have crawled out of your Vaio and killed you.

    C- In addition to not catching shit, Jason Voorhees could have jumped out of the water and dragged you back down with him.

    So, you see, Hollywood teaches you that God doesn't actually hate you.
    He's just fucking with you a little bit.
    [Reply to this comment]
      Also
      by scarygermanguy(none@yourbusiness.com)
      gfd messages
      on Sep 15, 2008 11:01:12 PM
      (#26893)
      You could have been awakened with a pot of boiling water as your father raged about the lack of dairy.

      Or, had a meat thermometer jabbed into your thigh, as daddy bitched about his missing moo juice.

      In the big picture getting yelled at ain't shit. Just count yourself lucky, I had a friend who's mom woke him up like that.

      True she was a schizoid who frequently went off her meds, but the point is still solid. You're crying over no milk...


      [Reply to this comment]  [Parent]
        Additionally, gold star
        by TheChisa(come@me.bro)
        gfd messages
        on Sep 20, 2008 11:29:55 PM
        (#26905)
        you could have woken up in Darfur, with a tribal warlord standing over you, screaming not about the lack of milk, but the lack of any potable water.

        Or, you could have realized that due to the recessed American economy, you not only can't afford a new computer, but also can't afford your electricity bill.

        Or, you could have gone out with your buddies, and realized far too late that they have been planning for weeks to beat you, rape your pretty little asshole, snap your neck, and dump your violated and bloodied form into the lake.

        In summation: Chopper Read says 'Harden the fuck up!'
        [Reply to this comment]  [Parent]
    forking hell gold stargold starthumbs upheart
    by clipon
    gfd messagesMSN
    on Sep 19, 2008 10:48:44 AM
    (#26900)
    fishing with buddies?

    Ad to list - try bad remke BROKENBAK MOUNTIN

    buy a cow - alway milki
    [Reply to this comment]
    hey man dunce
    by Ultracreature(Hey! Fuck you.)
    gfd messages
    on Oct 30, 2008 03:39:58 PM
    (#27010)
    how about you do us a favor and shut the fuck up about you're every day difficulties
    [Reply to this comment]
      ha, no kidding
      by bakanagaijin(asshole@inter.net)
      gfd messagesMSN
      on Oct 30, 2008 06:06:11 PM
      (#27011)
      I have everyday difficulties too.

      No, wait. I have difficulties every day. Actually, only a few. One is apostrophe abuse. I fucking HATE that. If you wake up one day and your ' and Caps Lock keys are missing, know that you have been visited by Justice. Or some random guy from the Internet wearing a cheap ninja costume. Probably both.
      [Reply to this comment]  [Parent]
    you're probably blaming god for
    by nicklovin(hadeen_69@yahoo.com)
    gfd messages
    on Nov 9, 2008 04:25:42 AM
    (#27026)
    all the negative responses you're getting on this story too. You're pathetic, You're whiney, and you will most likely never amount to anything higher than the pussy discharge of a popped genital wart. don't blame God for a bad day, just accept the fact that shit happens and get over it. At this very moment in time, you suck.
    [Reply to this comment]
    ROFFLE
    by BRAWL(Apparently_u_r@yourmumsafatgit.com)
    gfd messages
    on Jan 3, 2009 09:57:29 AM
    (#27126)
    "he didnt like that i used the word fuck.
    so he chucked a fork at me."

    That simple image in my head has just cracked me the fuck up haha.
    [Reply to this comment]

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